owwh

mmmmmmmmm

Done done and onto the next one.

“I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society.” - Marilyn Manson

Probably the best quote I have ever read, that really spoke to me. I think its time people grow up, and stop judging other people when they really don't have any insight to what goes on behind closed doors, or what peoples circumstances may be.
This is why I dislike girls.
You're such a bitch, so dramatic, and quite frankly I find it pathetic. I'm a free spirit, I do what I want, I don't judge people and I don't look down on anyone. I am happy to be friends with whoever, they don't have to be a certain level of 'cool' to be a nice person.
I don't follow this little crowd of trying to please everyone around me, I'm a human being, I make mistakes, so what? I'm not looking for sympathy, we all have issues, I am just expressing my emotions, which I will continue to do, whether people approve of me or not.
You're a sheep.
Its time to get over yourself.

Been a while

Since I last posted, I literally don't care much for anything any more, my actions have consequences but I'd rather bury my head in the sand than face reality. There's only a few little things that stay in my heart, and those are the things I'll never give up caring about. Its quite a nice feeling to just let go... it feels freeing in a way, like every weight can be lifted, but at the same time it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

I feel like I've got to a point where I just don't care what people have to say about me, those who decide they want to have a say in who I am and what I do, aren't worth my time. And I am who I am, I don't try to please anyone, and I never will, I literally couldn't give a fuck if I go out and make a complete ass of myself.
Its pretty weird reading back the past few months of my blog... to just watch my moods and how much I've changed. I can't get my head around how you can completely lose your mind due to loss, or something traumatic happening in your life.
I feel so over-dramatic but unless you're in my head its impossible to even consider trying to understand what it feels like to feel trapped in your own mind, to be in such a dark place you can't escape, to be judged on every move you make, when you don't even think before you do things, and unless you know where I'm at, I don't think its anyone's place to judge me, or anyone else going through what I am, on the poor choices they make at this point in their lives. Although we all know that's impossible to do, because people will always judge you, your closest friends will always judge you, but I'm not sorry for who I am, or how I am right now, I don't even care, and the worst thing is that I'm so aware of what's happening, but I just don't care and I can't stop it, because I've lost control.