Born and raised

We were born and raised
To live beyond
The heft and weight of a world undone
Like a bird from the north
Our hearts will roam in search of warmth.


I don't think I ever realised, just quite how far under I let myself slip... So we're half way through 2010, and this year has by far been one of the worst I can remember. The last few months were more than hard, I think I hit a place that clouded my mind up so much, now when I try to remember how I felt all I see is a mist.. Its only when I hear certain songs or music that I listened to religiously at that point in my 'break down' or whatever you want to call it, that I think to myself.. wow, when did I become so weak, at least at that time I thought I was weak, I mean even now I'm not fully recovered, but at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel now.

I literally couldn't explain where my head was at, there is no possible way, and its probably one of the hardest things that someone could try and understand. I was so wreckless, I didn't care, to a point I still don't, but I'm definitely stronger now.

'I tell my friends, it won't be long
Before it's time for me to come back home
It feels like I'm ready for anything
If you can wait for me.'

I am coming home, I'm scared that I will fall back into a black hole, because even remembering, just brings me down, makes me want to sleep and not wake up.
I can honestly say, I've lost some, I've gained some, but at least I know what's real and what isn't now.. I think I'm getting back on track, I hope so, and I can hope.

I'm just cleaning up the mess I made, a toast to the future.