Happy sunday

Its kind of strange to think of celebrating a day for my mum, and as much as I love and appreciate being put on this earth because of her, I can't say we've ever had a close nit relationship, if a relationship at all to be honest... its something I have always wished for and always wanted, but for some reason nothing ever changes. I sometimes look at my friends with their mums, and I think to myself what it would be like to have my mum as my friend, I'm a little envious when my friends get a call or a text from their mum just to see how they are, or just checking up on them, and I'm aware that sounds silly, and If you're that person that receives it then I'm sure it gets tedious and irritating!

but when you've never experienced it, its almost something I long for. Even when I was a little girl, I would stay at friends houses for weeks on end, and nothing, not even a phone call, And I'm not saying my mum is a bad mum because she isn't at all, but I think she holds up a barrier to all her emotions including what she shows for her children. If I have learned anything from growing up this way, its that I know when/if I ever decide to have children, I will always try to be more than just 'mum'.